How to Face Adversity With Grace
Updated: Oct 7, 2020
My dear friends and supporters of Daily Magic,
These are quite the times we are living in.
"Quite the times" is a gross understatement but please forgive me for my loss of words.
How do we measure the pain we are witnessing? How do we heal the weariness of our spirits in a time where racism, sexism, hate crime, and oppression still exists?
I don't know about you, but in my own life there have been many significant shifts in the past 6 months; in synch with the global pandemic and lockdown. Many people have been cancelled, publicly and silently, for the things they do or don't do.
A quote that has been circulating a lot online:
If you are neutral in situations of injustice, you have chosen the side of the oppressor. - Desmond Tutu
We have witnessed murder and violent crimes against innocent black lives - George Floyd, Breonna Taylor, Jacob Blake, and countless others - which have shaken the illusions of peace in our society. We have witnessed countless cases of cancel culture on social media platforms and public callouts of large corporations. We have even seen the true nature and views of people in our own lives; thus identifying themselves as allies or in opposition to our personal views.
Many folx are only waking up now to realize the true state of our world.
Do not be mistaken, we merely lived in a time of closeted hate with the illusion of justice. Our systems are flawed and we have lots of collective work to do before we reach peace.
In the meantime, here are some steps that I have been personally working through, to help with my mental health and wellbeing during these trying times.
Facing Adversity with Grace
*Please note that these are steps that I've been personally working with. This isn't a guide that will work perfectly in every situation. I share this hoping that it may help you and your current path in some way.
Facing the issue: Overwhelmed by the things happening in our world? Frustrated with something that needs to change? Faced with unexpected hardships? Look at the hard stuff and fully acknowledge it for what it is. Hard. It's ok to not know all of the answers or to not know what to do right away, but try to focus on the root of the issue you are dealing with.
Witness and process your emotions: It's extremely difficult to think clearly when we're emotionally charged. Instead of trying to suppress or stop your emotions from rising, let them be. Witness them, allow them to fully process. Cry if you need to, confide in supportive friends and professionals*. Allow yourself the time needed to let yourself grieve, yell, rant, and experience the whole emotional cycle. *In my opinion and experience, helpful professionals can be anyone from a licensed therapist to a trained energy healer. Use your discretion as well as your intuition to understand who would be trustworthy and supportive in unpacking these experiences.
Learn from your emotions: If possible, try to understand what your emotions are telling you (this is where a trained professional comes in). Taking a step back and observing the greater "why" and our triggers, can help us anticipate when we might have certain emotional responses and reactions again in the future.
Make peace with what you can't change: There are some things that we can't change overnight (or unfortunately, ever). Whether it's a specific person or a systemic issue, make peace with how you have dealt with the past situation, make peace with how you're currently dealing with it, and make peace with what you have no control over.
Act on what you CAN change: At the end of the day, there are always things that we can do to improve a situation. It's important to remind ourselves that growth is not linear, nor does it always look perfect. Committing ourselves to constant evolution and learning, while staying humble in the process, is important to growing with grace.
A Prayer for Difficult Times
"May I make peace with the things that I can not change. May my emotions teach me more about myself and the world around me. May I have the clarity to make decisions that protect me and my Spiritual energy. I ask that Spirit, and all of its forms, guide me towards the path of Greater Peace, Purpose, and Higher change. So it be for the Highest good and the good of all."
May you always return to your peace,
Further Resources:
Living Hyphen's Anti-Racism Resources
Rachel Cargle's #DoTheWork Free 30-day Course
Black Lives Matter Resources (especially look at the Healing Action Toolkit)
The Holistic Psychologist on IG (check out the resources in their bio link)
Dr. Therapinay on IG on Decolonizing mental health